


The flower named Liar

by Rubyred_1112



Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Rejection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28749516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubyred_1112/pseuds/Rubyred_1112
Summary: 愛に咲いた花の名前はライアー 儚く揺れてる。The name of the flower that bloomed in love is Liar, and it's fading away.また僕は噓をついた自分の心誤魔化したAgain, I lied and cheated my own heart.
Relationships: Jesse Lewis/Matsumura Hokuto, Kouchi Yugo & Jesse Lewis, Kouchi Yugo & Matsumura Hokuto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	The flower named Liar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jc_lewis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jc_lewis/gifts).



> Hello folks! This is me, your noisy Hokuje trash (the one that regularly throwing hokuje crumbs under @seohayami_s on twitter) :3  
> So, after listening to Boku ga Boku Janai Mitai Da, the opening parts (namely Hokuto and Jesse's Lines) hit me with an idea of angsty Hokuje fic (also blame the way Jesse ignored Hokuto during oneST lol)  
> that was how this baby born.
> 
> Honorable mention to Miss Tracy (@yongbingtracy on Twitter or jc_lewis here on AO3), She saved this baby from my terrible grammar and wordings, I couldn't thank you enough <3
> 
> Also thank you for amazing translators in this fandom <3

Hokuto had this hunch for quite some time now. 

At first, he chalked it up to him just overthinking again, but lately he became sure it was not just his imagination. Jesse was avoiding him.

He saw it clearly especially in the last few days. He noticed the way Jesse rarely looked at him directly when they talked within the group. It saddened Hokuto that during their last shows Jesse barely talked or interacted with him on the stage. And it came off especially weird because it was Jesse, the one who never missed the chance to bless the fans with the “pairing fanservice” with each member.

Also it was Jesse, no matter who he was with, he was always that bundle of energy. Normally, he will pester Hokuto in their dressing room. But the way he had been - he didn’t initiate any jokes with him, not even after the concert, where he usually left more energetic than he came. 

Hokuto had an inkling what was happening. 

"Okay then, I'm going home, guys.”Juri waved to the other members as he took his jacket, “See you tomorrow.”

"Me too then. See you guys." Shintaro followed him outside and Taiga after. 

"Well, I'm going home too." Kochi grabbed his bag, getting ready to go home. It was then that Jesse got up from his chair like he was about to follow Kochi. 

"Jesse, can we talk a bit?" Hokuto blurted before Jesse could leave the room. 

Quickly reading the air, Kochi decided it was best he left them alone, “See you tomorrow.”

"What's wrong?" Jesse asked, sitting back on the couch, still not looking directly at Hokuto's eyes.

Hokuto walked closer, to the point where he stood right in front of the said person, "Why are you avoiding me?" He decided to drop the bomb right then and there. What was he holding back for anyway?

"What?!" Jesse finally looked up to face Hokuto. 

"So this is what it takes for you to finally look straight at me, huh?" Hokuto replied. He didn’t know the kind of expression he was making, but he hoped it was not that sarcastic smirk of his. He hoped his face was as honest as his heart for one moment. 

"Hokuto, what the hell are you talking about?" Jesse laughed it off, but his laugh comes out awkward and forced.

“Don’t play dumb Jesse, You... know, don't you?” Hokuto stared right into Jesse’s eyes. 

His gaze wasn’t piercing, but rather gentle where hints of sorrow peeked through. And that alone was enough to haunt Jesse. 

“Hokuto…” He paused, as if they finally reached the same page and they both knew where this talk was headed. Jesse’s face wore the same sorrow. 

“Jess, just say it” His voice was firm, unfazed like he was prepared to face the consequences of what he should’ve heard a long time ago. 

“Hokuto... don’t." Jesse pleaded. He had been cheating himself since the realization hit him. Little did he know Hokuto’s one sentence, four words - broke down that wall like it never existed. 

“Hey...” Hokuto reached out for Jesse’s face, cupping it with his hand dearly - like any harder he would break it, “You know I’ll be fine. Just say it and let it off your chest.” It was bitter, but it was for the better of Jesse. 

Hokuto’s tone broke him, and he couldn’t hold his pain any longer, even though he was fairly certain it had been written all over his face by now. 

“Hokuto… I’m sorry.” He said it. 

“Why is it that you look so miserable when I’m the one being turned down?” Hokuto dryly replied with a hint of kindness, and a soft chuckle escaped his mouth. 

“And you don’t need to feel sorry, I’ve known since forever that it's only me.” Hokuto still manages to smile at him. This was unfair for Jesse.

Jesse pulled Hokuto closer, leaning his head on Hokuto’s forearm and he murmured more sorries with a muffled voice, against the warmth of Hokuto’s skin. 

Hokuto smiles bitterly, but Jesse doesn’t see and then he gently caresses the younger one, smoothing the back of his hair, "It's okay Jesse. I've never expected anything.”

Jesse wasn’t sure what he had done in life to deserve someone like Hokuto, a person who loved him so dearly even when he could not reciprocate the same love. He never felt more worthless.

“Okay, now that we’ve cleared things up, stop avoiding me, you idiot!” Hokuto gently slapped Jesse’s shoulder, “I’m okay with you acting like your usual self. Get yourself together, okay?” And there it was; he showed Jesse that warm delicate smile. Somehow, it made Jesse’s heart twinge.

"Yeah. I'll try...just tell me if I'm being too much. I don't want to… cross the line." It was his turn to man up, he knew he should face this mess he made himself. 

"Hmm, well, see you then, okay?" Hokuto patted Jesse's head. Even though things will be different for them from now on, Hokuto knows he will continue to hold dear his feelings for Jesse. Not Jesse. He couldn’t ever give up his dearest Jesse. 

***

After Hokuto left the room, Jesse finally let himself free, dropping on the couch, his hand covering his eyes as tears streamed down his face. It was true that he had been avoiding Hokuto; he was absolutely correct. 

But what Hokuto didn’t know was the fear Jesse faced alone. The way he could never brave enough to walk down the path of accepting Hokuto’s love. Not because it wasn’t mutual, but because he knew the weight of Hokuto’s love. Jesse was far more vulnerable than he could accept about himself, and it was all for his fear that one day they would fall out of love. So yeah, he was nothing but a coward.

Maybe if he never brought it anywhere, it could spare the chances of him getting hurt and the possibility that he would hurt Hokuto - he hoped this one lie would be the last time he ever hurt Hokuto.

For Hokuto, he would gladly bear this himself. Not Hokuto. Not the Hokuto who was so close to his heart, who he guarded with his everything. He would rather hate himself than hurt Hokuto more than this. 

The sounds of the door opening pulled him back from his train of thoughts. 

"Ah...So you really are a coward afterall, huh?" Kochi stood by the door, his arms crossed but a sliver of pity in his eyes. 

"Dammit Kochi, I thought you went home already!” Jesse scurried to wipe tear stains from his face and gather himself from his broken self, except he was now pissed, “Don’t conclude things like that on your own!” He yelled. 

"That look" Kochi pointed out at him, "tells everything"

"What kind of monster are you? Can’t you be a little more empathetic? " Jesse ruffled his own hair out of frustration. 

"Serves you right for being a coward!" Kochi scorned. But Jesse knew he meant well. 

"For God's sake Kochi, aren't you supposed to be on my side!" Jesse said, palming his face now.

"Nope, you know I'll always be on Hokuto's side. And with you being a coward like this, you really don't even deserve him." Kochi’s words were merciless.

"Shit, of course you are. And yeah, I don’t!” Jesse sulked back on the couch, back facing Kochi like a child, “Just leave me alone here. I’ll go back when I’m calm enough.”

"Well, I'm waiting in the parking lot for exactly one hour, and if you don't come I'll go home." And Kochi left the room just like that. 

***

Kochi waited for Jesse in his car and it had been 20 minutes, but Jesse still hadn’t come down. Kochi looks at his phone, opening a certain chat he received before. 

_ Kochi, You still there aren’t you? _

_ Shit, you saw my car huh _

_ Well, it’s right after the exit door. _

_ Anyway, can you drive Jesse home? _

"Dammit these idiots"

_ I’ll only wait for an hour!  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first work here, I hope whoever passed by had a good time with this baby <3  
> I'm open to criticism and input here or u can hit me on my dm :))


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